Què és un lightsaber? (espada "láser")

Parasite God
Dear Captain RibMan,
How do I make a lightsaber?

Dear Buzz,
Simple. A handle must be constructed containing a single power cell producing energy, which flows through a matrix of jewels and determines the blade's length. The emitted beam arcs back from its positively charged energy lens to a negatively charged high-energy flux aperture on top of the handle. (I learned that when I worked at RadioShack.)
Now, I help train young Jedis, Vulcans and Orkians in my spare time. You can read about my wacky adventures in my new novel, "Beam Me Up, Please!" I tell true stories of Yoda caught naked with a Gorn, E.T. lighting-up all of his appendages and the time I got drunk with ALF and we pantsed Momar Khadafi.

Good luck!
-Captain RibMan
www.ucomics.com